A note of appreciation
This month marks the completion of a year since I began writing about the nuances of human psychology, garnished with some philosophy and ascending with deductions of our emotions to events. The blog on cognitive behavioural therapy began in a quest to search and analyse on critical aspects of our actions and emotions that at times creates irregularities. The obvious thing to do then is to go back and reprogram the human system. This can only be corroborated when we understand it’s code. For you cannot possibly debug a software without knowing the logic that formulates its algorithm.
The journey has been exhilarating to say the least as I stand today as an ardent and curios student to the education that unravels in the form of learning from books, write ups or articles from marvelously influential thought leaders of the world and more importantly from the people around us. I do not claim to know even a spec of knowledge that the world has to offer us and that brings massive ripples of enthusiasm within me. Whatever is learnt, is presented in my own little ways with whom I stay connected through various platforms and mediums. Hordes of readers have showered their affection and love on what has been shared and some claim it has impacted them immensely or helped them ease on with life. In all conscience, I stay indebted to those who take out their time to read and express their thoughts and therefore appraising the effort as part of this vast knowledge pool.
The curious case
This however is by no means a thank you speech and yet is to gain a fair understanding of what all this writing and reading means to us. This blog just like the other blogs is inspired from our day to day events or instances, but this blog will try to speak about everything that has been written until now or everything that you might have learned through various mediums. About a month ago on a weekday while working, I was on a call with my wife. She complained about some issue at her workplace which was causing some stress. On my probing, I figured it were the usual reasons that keep popping up at any workplace but has the venom to unsettle us. I asked her why she stressed so much and reminded her on the hacks which I had been discussing over the months. This would calm her down and later disentangle the conundrum as fleeting emotion and will eventually settle down.
It’s a valid transactional behaviour, once we acknowledge the problem and then act on it. My wife’s reply at that instant startled me when she mentioned it is painfully difficult or near impossible to apply any of those learning when she was stressed. She protested there was no reason to ponder over the psychological roller-coaster. It is one thing to read, learn and feel elated about the workings of the human emotion, but to apply in a practical scenario such as this was a Herculean task given the situation. I was perplexed at once, for she is not only the most supportive for obvious reasons but is also a person to understand these learning efficiently which I have been earnestly dishing out since a year. A few days later when she was at ease, I probed her on the statement. The answer she explained on her difficulty, made me realise the most common flaw we as humans tread on while dealing with learning and that broadens our spectrum of knowledge and its rightful application.
When we stumble across knowledge, we derive the essence of the information but then stack it amongst the countless banal platitudes and move on. When we learn, we are elated with its learning, perhaps quoting the learning at a pub might even score us a hot date or make us look smart. Yet, what we fail to do is apply those learnings when we need it the most. In the above example, my wife could have acknowledged the stress or problem on hand, opened the little diary of memory that has stored the solution and applied it effectively. Nevertheless, our panics overwhelm us to such extent that we do not know what should be done and eventually succumb to stress. This is a peculiar human trait or the mannerism of panic or fear. We lose control on our thoughts and do not assemble on what needs to be followed. Scientifically, the term is coined as the ‘Amygdala Hijack’.
What this ultimately ensures is for the moment it makes all our knowledge or learning seem nothing more than just bookish rather than have any resourceful application. Our wisdom built over the pool of our learning seem delusional. Post which we do not see the sense in enlightening ourselves with any other information apart from using it to score a date or look smart in a gathering or seem brainy with our social media posts for likes. We therefore draw ourselves away from learning that can be so critical in times of decision making or simply ensuring our peace. For this trait is very strategically handled by spin doctors to gain our positive impressions on well calibrated campaigns, this I already blogged in the article here.
For every problem, I look to assimilate for solutions, and this too can be countered with practice. Let’s make it clear that in no means this is an easy preparation. It takes mindfulness to first acknowledge each emotion that traverses through our little minds. It is scientifically proven that diverting your mind for six seconds during an amygdala hijack helps you come out of it. During the six seconds one can focus on the breathing patterns for diversion. There must be a habit inculcated to practice mindfulness and I would be frank that though I am able to display this trait much better than before, there still exists situations where I lose control for a moment.
The best I do is to assemble again and treat the moment accordingly, for I am now accustomed to observe the emotion. The next thing to do then once we acknowledge is to apply the solution which we might have learned to deal with that problem before. Hence, it is a worthwhile exercise to foresee risks in a task and write the action plan on a paper to counter those when encountered. Here, I do not intend to preach on solutions but guide you on how the solution might be effectively used. If you have written on a paper, you can reflect from those ideas that yourself have made a note of in a balanced state of mind. Banal platitudes therefore carry deep learning from which we can derive incredible wisdom that can impact our habits in a positive manner.
My simple rule for knowledge
A phrase which I read somewhere always sticks up that says, “Knowledge that does not change behaviour is useless”. I am a great advocate of this philosophy and adhere to my learning by bringing a change in my behaviour and conducts. When we make it a habit to acknowledge our emotions and counter it with a plan or even simply observe it, we hold good grounds in situations which might otherwise gain control over us and lead to stress. We are then the observer and not the victim who lurks in desolation and label our learning as simply delusional or inapplicable. Personally, these have been life impacting experiences for me and therefore have put it forth for you to understand some of our deep seeded emotions. We must yearn to apply wisdom of our learning at those moments when they matter the most, to step out of our own little phobias and eccentricities that control us. I shall leave you with one such profound learning of the legendary Bruce Lee who lived and preached the axiom, “Be water, my friend”.